


This is a man's world

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Period Typical Attitudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: Second prompts (two months late, sorry!!!!)The vampires think that humans have solved the problem of sexual violence... Nadja corrects them.
Relationships: Jenna/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Kudos: 3





	This is a man's world

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma/gifts).



> Ok, so I was asked for this story a long time ago (sorry again Emma) but between my health problems, the Christmas holidays, changing my computer and writing a story with such a complex subject...I was slow. I wrote at least three different versions and this is the best one in my opinion. I hope you will appreciate, again, I love writing but I am far from being a professional. Nothing really graphic is described but it remains a heavy subject. The translation of the dialogue of Nandor's ghost is the end. It's terrible but I've made do with the means at hand.  
> Thank you for your understanding.

-Guillermo?  
-Yes, master?  
-What's that Me too? Nandor asked, looking at his computer. -Everyone seems to be participating, is it a game?  
-Oh...

How was he going to explain that?

-Uh...I'm not sure what to tellyou, master.  
-The truth would be nice. I'm not a child or an idiot! Come on, explain!  
-The Metoo movement is for women...no, actually for people even if more commun with women, who were....Uh...how to say...Assaulted?  
-They lost a fight? asked Nandor.-It's not so bad. I mean, a woman who fights against a man, one always salutes her courage, even if she loses...  
-No, they were... they were hurt. By people who didn't understand the word no. And sometimes other things like having taken advantage of them or put in uncomfortable situations.

It was wider than that but Guillermo wanted to start with the basics.

-I'm not sure I understand....Oh, is it a comemorative thing?  
-I'm sorry what?  
-No need, Guillermo. For people in the past who did not have modern wisdom? Or a foreign land where it is still a problem?  
-Master, it's always a problem here and now.  
-Sigh...I know, Guillermo. People will never stop stealing, killing or raping. But you know it's getting easier now that people believe you and don't blame you anymore.  
-Master, this may be a little, in fact a lot better that...  
-How can you be over 700 years old and still think like a gullible maiden? What your familiar is trying to tell you, Nandor, is that it's not going to be settled any time soon. 

Nadja appeared at the balustrade followed by her husband.

-People recognise that the problem exists but if they take it seriously or don't look for excuses for the perpetrator or blame the victim is more than common.  
-I agree with my dear lady wife but at least everyone is looking for ways to help solve the problem. The scum ready to blame others for their own sins, there will always be. And so will those who use money, power or other deviant means. That's just life.  
-You speak as if it were a minority, says Nadja.  
-This is not the case? Ask Laszlo. -I know it's recent but it must be a good 70 years since it started.

Nadja laughs before saying:  
-Oh my sweet stupide baby boy! I deal with these rare events at least once a week.  
-WHAT IS IT? WHO? WHERE? HOW? I'M GOING TO SLAUGHTER...  
-Laszlo! It's nothing. I'm a vampire, a predator of the night! Let them come and try it with me, I'm waiting for them! The time they spend hanging around me without knowing that they are dealing with a lioness is a moment of respite for the helpless sheep. I have rarely been in danger since my dark transformation and it's not as if you can go and do more damage to people whose bones don't even have any dust left. 

Laszlo looks at his wife with horror and confusion after her revelation.

Nandor alone

-I...I'm not going to try to sugarcoat the truth. I was an invader so I had my moments... questionable? Nothing calculated but...in the heat of the moment...It's was the norm and with the pressure of others...I mean even the best of us ones get carried away by the moment. I once caught John, my horse taking advantage of a cow. It was a very beautiful cow in his defence...No!" Nandor said, stopping himself .-This is not an excuse and it wasn't right! I have changed a lot since then! But it's not like I can go back in time and slap my past self in the face!

Nandor's expression changes when he realises something.

Laszlo and Nadja alone

-I was not so bad, I think, says Laszlo uncertain. -At least for my time...  
-There's a reason why I made you immortal," Nadja smiles. -There was raw potential in you.  
-I am the son of a belle de nuit.  
-A prostitute.  
-Nadja!  
-What? Let's call a spade a spade!  
-I don't like that word, it's vulgar! Says courtisane, fille de joie, boudoir professional,technician in knee trembling ! She spoke several languages, played many instruments, sang like a bird and was educated enough to be able to hold conversations with the most influential men of her time. She too was a wonderful, gentle and caring mother. People are always horrified to know that I spent the first years of my life in a brothel. But it's not like I was offered to customers! My grandmother, the Madam of the house knew better.   
All her grandchildren were bastards of the highest quality : We were all beautiful, gifted and intelligent.At a time when one in three children did not survive past their first birthday and when the genetic make-up of noble families was... How to put it politely?  
-That there wasn't much difference between a freak show and a young beginners' ball, Nadja replied.  
-Exactly! So I lived there with my mother, my mother's colleagues, my grandmother and my cousins. Then I met my father. He no longer had a legitimate son alive. I had become useful. I didn't want to leave but I had no choice. I...didn't like my new home. He didn't want me to talk to my mother. The good days they said she was a appeared reproductive who did her job, the bad ones....They said she was dirty, depraved, stole honest and faithful husbands. Lies and slander, I received more love and affection there than at my father's house. I believe that this is what, together with my superior intellect, prevented me from seeing them as useful objects or as creatures that were only just good enough to be kicked after use. I had also developed a strong affection for his half-sister who, like me, seemed to have inherited the best of the family.This is what made me sympathize with some of the injustices suffered by the fair sex in marital unions.The husband chosen for my dear sister was an unattractive, selfish fool who refused even when I offered to pay for a trip to a brothel no matter how physically or mentally exhausted my poor sister was. Demanding that she satisfy him because otherwise his soul would be sullied by the sin of infidelity and it would be her fault. As if any woman, man or goat would have willingly done anything with him without 10 pounds on the dresser   
-Yes, it is.The fact that she was a lesbian doesn't help either, explain Nadja. -This is one of the reasons why we decided that it would be perfect as a first meal for Laszlo.  
-He was ok but it was for a good cause.  
-And that's also one of the reasons I didn't eat you. You weren't perfect but I saw a rough diamond that under good education had excellent potential.  
-I ...I can see how even progressive for my time, other of my values were...naive. Like consider that if you had a satisfying reaction to the incident, take the blame off the guilty party.   
-You know that now. I would have liked...started Nadja before looking at the camera and saying quickly using her hypnosis:  
-Stop filming.

Colin alone

-I believe that sexual harassment and micro-aggression in the workplace are a real societal problem. I make it a duty and a pleasure to explain it at length and broadly at each party office of Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thankgiving, New Year, Martin Luther King day ...I have also been invited to bachelorette parties ever since.

Shows pictures of Colin talking to guys trying to ignore him clearly not interested while several girls dance behind him, without a care in the world.

Nadja and Laszlo, alone without camera

-Did I say something wrong? asked Laszlo.  
-No, I just wanted to make one thing clear. I am no longer angry with you for what Lilith did to you. And I was angry because I thought you had lied to me to get out of it. If I had known, I would have reacted differently.  
-That's nothing. At least people will know that when I said that it doesn't count for her if she likes it, I include myself too. They can't call me a hyppocrypt, now.   
-Indeed, darling. Evolving with the world is the choice we made in becoming immortal. Except for horizontal stripes. I know they tried to bring them back every 80 years but it will never look good on anyone!  
-You preach to a convert. But I would like ...If you want ...and you're comfortable with that ...that …  
-It would be easier to answer positively or negatively if you explain it clearly.   
-If bad things have happened to you and it would do you good to talk about them, then I want to hear about them. Even if I can no longer avenge you, I can at least listen.  
-Laszlo...says Nadja, putting her head in her hands. -It's just going to upset you.  
-You were upset with Lilith even before we re-examined the situation. And I think that feeling bad is the least I can do for not having thought about asking you before.

Nadja seemed to think for a moment before finally saying:  
-Very well. I'm just going to give you a quick summary and if you and I are comfortable, we'll continue, understood?  
-Perfectly, my sweet baby.

Nadja took an inspiration that her body didn't need but her mind did.

-At a less sensitive time I wouldn't even have included this but I had the usual: cat call, remarks unworthy of gentlemen but almost always coming from them, wandering hand, feeling a friend of my parents standing at attention to you even before my body was passed from child to woman and had to run new speed records to protect my ass. But something really terrible only happened once over a long period of time.

Laszlo did not dare to ask any questions, waiting to see if Nadja would continue.

-I don't know if this will surprise you but I was married before you.  
-What?! I mean, I'm surprised to hear it for the first time but you're beautiful, so there must be lots of men who wanted you for a wife. And you were what, 15 years old when you died?  
-16 years old but thank you. And men haven't stopped looking at me since I was 11 I think. Finally, when I was 13 years old, an acquaintance of my father's came to us to ask...No, to demande for my hand and all that. My father knew that even though I was old enough to consider marriage, it was not a good choice.  
-Why?  
-First of all, he was too old. In my culture, it is rare to marry someone who is not the same age or only a few years older. And as I told you, he knew him. Really well. Well enough not to want to let me go with him. He did everything in his power to dissuade him: that with the death of my mother and my place as an eldest daughter, I had to stay to take care of younger siblings, to say that I was a bad cook and that I knew how to multiply. Nothing helped. So my father had no other choice but to accept. We got married the next day. It was nice. I got a new dress and wedding fresh bread.  
-It's not normally a wedding cake?  
-Listen, fancy pant! We are not all born with gold spoons in our mouths.  
-My spoons were made of silver!  
-I didn't have a spoon! Well, it doesn't matter. He was...not nice. A first-class asshole, in fact. He hurt me a lot and I prefer not to go into details. At least tonight because I don't see how I can explain without one of us starting to cry and the other breaking furniture.   
-Who will cry and who will break furniture?  
-I don't know, it could go either way," says Nadja with a sad smile.  
-Nadja...  
-It's all right, Laszlo. I was lucky, my yaya had taught me a couple of things about the plants in the region. My disgusting asshole husband died a month after we were married. Stomach problem. Everyone was too stupid or satisfied with his death to dig too deep. I returned with my family with two goats, five chickens and the gold tooth of my late husband. I'm sure my father knew what I had done. He told me to take all the time I needed to get over the loss of my husband.   
-It makes me regret not having known my father-in-law," says Laszlo.  
-I like to think he would have liked you even if he would have insisted that you always pay for the beer at the inn.   
-A ridiculous price for your hand," said Laszlo with a kiss.  
-Especially knowing that the rest is included, says Nadja with an eager expression. -Enough about him for tonight, make me remember more pleasant memories.

******

Nandor is sitting at the living room table with Nadja's incantation book. He recites the magic formulas and his ghost appears. 

-Well, it's about time.  
-'Ant marat akhraa? madha turid 'akthar min dhlk , 'ayuha aljuthat alghabiat linafsi?   
-Ok, so I made a list of moments when I could have been better," said Nandor as he walked towards the ghost with a rolled scroll.

Nandor took a deep breath and lifted the scroll before shouting:  
-Bad Nandor! Bad!

The parchment passed through the ghost whose only reaction was:  
-Ma hdha bihaqi aljahima?   
-I hope you've learned your lesson, it's very wrong what you've done!  
-Hal hdha jhym? hal yjb 'an tushahidni 'atasaraf bhdha alghaba'? hal yumkin li'ahad 'an yadfaeani 'iilaa buhayrat min alhumam alburkaniat 'aw yumziq 'azafry , min fadlk?   
-Okay, you can leave now. John is probably lonely without you," says Nandor, gesturing to leave.  
-'Uwh allaenat ealayk , sa'arhal! 

The ghost disappeared, leaving Nandor satisfied.

******

-I would like to be able to do more," says Laszlo as he gets dressed.  
-Your means are limited, sweetheart, anwers Nadja while getting dressed too. -He died and I find that finding his descendants for revenge is not only exhausting but unfair. I am not a fairy-tale wicked stepmother, I do not punish children for the crimes of their parents.  
-I understand but there must be an alternative. We cannot change the past, but for the present and the future we have options.  
-Frankly, I don't...Oh but wait, if I see! Hunt with me!  
-It's not a big ask, I love hunting the most dangerous game with you," smiles Laszlo.  
-No, I mean hunt them with me! That disgusting waste that attacks women and children! And even men! One less pig means one less victim saved or avenged every time! They're a bit more discreet from the old days but nothing hard to find once you've learned to observe them a bit! You will learn quickly, I know it, my diabolical genius.  
-It seems like a fun way to correct my previous naivety. Maybe even suggested to Nandor to join us? Or the little one?  
-Jenna? She already knows her case. She told me what she did with her old boyfriend.   
-I feel someone is proud of her baby vampire.  
-I am proud of all my babies," Nadja said, kissing her husband.

**Author's Note:**

> Ant marat akhraa? madha turid 'akthar min dhlk , 'ayuha aljuthat alghabiat linafsi? : Is that you again? What more do you want, walking corpse of myself?  
> Ma hdha bihaqi aljahima? :What the fuck was that?  
> Hal hdha jhym? hal yjb 'an tushahidni 'atasaraf bhdha alghaba'? hal yumkin li'ahad 'an yadfaeani 'iilaa buhayrat min alhumam alburkaniat 'aw yumziq 'azafry , min fadlk? : Is this hell? Seeing my dead body act like an idiot? Could I just be thrown into a lava lake or be torn apart please?  
> Uwh allaenat ealayk , sa'arhal! : Oh fuck you, I'm leaving!
> 
> Headcanon: Colin is the asparagus of friendship: he is not fun and sometimes heavy on the stomach but he is good for you in the long run. Also the dialogue seemed to involve Jenna's boyfriend being abusive with her.


End file.
